Trouble with Writing

I was feeling lonely. A friend’s newsy letter did not help. Instead of rejoicing she had found a new love, I was jealous. “How come she has a relationship,” I asked God, “and I rate rejection? I’ve been alone longer than she has!”

I didn’t bother to listen for an answer. I was bitter, so I picked up a book instead. I found these lines inside: “No rejection we face can be as terrible as the rejection God faces when we turn away from him. There is no loneliness that goes beyond what God has experienced as a result of his love for us.”

I didn’t recognize the words as mine until I saw my initials on the paper. I’d written that years ago, long before my divorce. I didn’t know then that I’d be preaching to myself.

Anything you say can and may be used against you. Anything you write can, too. That’s the trouble with writing or speaking: you are accountable for your words.

God used something I’d written about loneliness to remind me he knows how I feel. He knows rejection too. He reminded me of his love. I didn’t deserve his gracious response.

The Bible says,

O LORD, you have searched me
     and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
      you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
      you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
      you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
       you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
       too lofty for me to attain.
(Psalm 139:1-6)

How should we respond? With humility.

Acknowledge… God… and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.  

(1 Chronicles 28:9)

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